St. Djan Darada Fellowship

He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love me?” Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, “Do you love me?” And he said to Him, “Lord, You know all things; You know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed My sheep.” John 21:17

We, no … I would like to believe that I possess the complete, perfect, and sacrificial love of Jesus Christ. Maybe you have achieved agape, the total self-giving love that the Lord had (and still has) for us as He became incarnate, laid His life down, and arose from the grave having defeated death and sin with the cross. An honest self-examination proves that I haven’t reach the example of the Savior that I strive to emulate.

I resemble Peter far more than Jesus. Like the apostle, I will make a praiseworthy proclamation of faith one minute only to say something selfish deserving of public rebuke the next. My initial courage is notable, until I prove to be a distracted coward among the winds and waves of opposition. Like any good Christian, I will declare that I will never abandon my Lord’s side. But, when the rubber hits the road, … . Certainly, many early and modern martyrs chose death rather than deny Jesus. Peter would, eventually, do so. But, would I do better than he before the rooster crows in my life?

At that point of discipleship, Peter didn’t practice agape. The best he could do was give a brotherly love, philo. This love can cower in fear when threatened. It says almost anything when awestruck. Philo expects things to happen a certain way and bails out when the expectations aren’t met. This is certainly not the love that we ought to strive for in I Corinthians 13. Paul wrote about the perfect love. Like Peter, mine is far from perfect (just ask my wife)!

Though faulty, philo is still a type of love with similar characteristics to agape. Most importantly, this imperfection can grow to perfection with honest reflection in the presence of God and by doing His will. Jesus knew and foretold that Peter’s love would falter. But he also knew that this disciple who denied Him would preach to the hearts of thousands who would believe in the Gospel, administrate the congregations in great cities such as Antioch and Rome, and would boldly choose beatings, imprisonment, and martyrdom rather than repeat the same failure.

At best, I love with the love of Peter. Others are my brothers and sisters that I’m called to be compassionate, kind, and loyal to. More than likely, there are people that I have failed. I apologize for my shortcomings. My goal is beyond making up for past errors. Our hope is that the Lord will accept our faulty philo and call us into His presence and service. By this, we can grow into the perfect, self-giving agape of Christ.

(see notes in the Orthodox Study Bible on John 21:15-17, pg. 1467)